Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
