When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
