I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize