Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
