mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize