I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
