she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
