Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
