me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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