Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
