i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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