Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize