the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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