shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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