It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
