drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
