she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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