Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
