Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
