just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
