I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
