he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
