He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
