so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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