we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I supernannyed him into submission
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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