yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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