so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
