Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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