I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
