This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
