It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
