After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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