apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize