My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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