i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
