And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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