i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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