so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize