I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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