but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
