i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
