**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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