u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
