just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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