I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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