If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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