I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
