he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize