Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
