You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
