What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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