Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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