i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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