she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
