Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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