There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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