i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
