At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You pole danced in your parka.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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