just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
