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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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• (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

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• (585): View more from New York

  High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine

  (773): View more from Illinois

  gross

  (917): View more from New York City

  like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table

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• (315): View more from New York

  Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.

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