she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
