so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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